My Post Election Thoughts: I Did Not Vote for Donald Trump, but I Understand Why You May Have

I want to preface this with 1 - This is longer than I expected, and it does not encapsulate all of my thoughts or feelings. I talk a lot. It's who I am! I am working on it. For as much as I talk, I also listen, and in this climate, that is so important. Talking and listening also provide me the space to write. 2- These are only my feelings and beliefs; they do not represent anyone else or any establishment other than me and my personal feelings. 3- I am and always will be open to healthy dialogue and positive discourse. 4- As educated and smart as I can be, I don't know shit. 

For the third time in America's History, Donald Trump ran for the highest office, yielding the most power in our nation, if not the world. Donald cannot let go of The Sopranos; despite it being over, he cannot get a new show.

With Biden putting his country, American people, and ego to the side, Harris had everything against her and then some, including having to prove who she was in a short time frame, what and what she stands for, how she will lead, and how she was going to serve you and your interests. This was absolutely Trump's race to lose. 

If you read this and make it to the end, familiarity is a significant trend to remember. I added a little satire to help digestion.

I want to preface this again: I am the product of interracial marriage, raised in a lower-middle-class, mostly-single-income blue-collar (shipyards and law enforcement) family/home in Hoboken, NJ. Mom stayed home raising the kids, and Dad went to work. Some may call this "traditional values." I grew up to be a first-generation college graduate and received an advanced degree in Psychology. My husband also has an undergraduate degree and a Juris Doctorate. We are both white collar, and both work in corporate. We have what can be considered a high-middle-class dual income and own a home in an affluent suburb of NJ, outside of NYC. We are technically minorities (I am half Hispanic, and he is Jewish), and we can easily be considered privileged, and we acknowledge that. We understand trickle down economics have never really worked. How I was raised, my education, my work, how I identify, and as a mother, this is important insight into how I vote. We're registered with opposite parties and have voted the same in this and prior elections.

I am a self-proclaimed left-leaning, raging moderate; I cannot go without saying that the Democratic Party has many fractures that need repairing themselves. From missing the mark with specific demographics to being late to the game addressing American concerns, I would be failing myself and anyone reading this. The Republican Party is also completely broken, and some have broken off into a sub-party, the MAGA party, which was born. With respect to Republicans, this is definitely not the Reagan party you long for, where the worst rhetoric you heard was "Welfare Queen."

Onto how I believe Trump won. Trump, at 78 years old and more incoherent than ever, came onto the scene like he never left (scratch that, he never left…); this time, with all new friends since his dumped him during and after his last term, donning (no pun intended) 34 felony charges, two impeachments, guilty of sexual abuse (not including the long list of others who have accused him of sexual assault) and defamation), and proudly staged a coup to overthrow the government. Again, this being the short list of disgrace (I won't go down that rabbit hole since many won't care and forget anyway - if you still believe in science, cognitive dissonance is very real), many Americans have decided this is the man they entrust with their livelihoods, their bodies, futures, families, and children. They trust him with America, their home. 

I did not vote for Donald Trump, and for what it's worth, I understand why you may have. He was able to a paint a picture of America that you perceived as accurate. Your perception is not reality, and perception is reality. (Please see my previous blog post "Your Perception is Not Reality" from earlier this month. The picture of the traditional values being ripped away and this new "woke" America being shoved down your throat. I understand why you may have voted for him.

From a psychological perspective, his campaign was nothing short of intriguing. The way he can infiltrate the minds of millions by running his campaign on fear, anger, false machismo, and hate and spewing proven falsehoods from the mountain tops and into your TV or social media app of choice over and over again. When you say or hear something enough times, you begin to believe it. He is hitting your pain point. Harris is missing it. And I agree, she missed it many times. The confirmation bias will also run deep if someone lives in an echo chamber of app algorithms (the most dangerous), friends, and family. It's not worth doing a cost-benefit analysis if everyone agrees he's the right choice no matter what, right? What's a cost-benefit analysis, and why is it important, anyway? Right?

America is garbage! Inflation! They're eating the dogs! You cannot afford groceries! Men playing in women's sports! The border is wide open! The economy is crashing! Inflation! Inflation! They don't care about you! I think you're special! You're all very special! (Be still our neglected inner child's wounds; he is speaking to them and calling us special.)

On November 5th, the Democratic process played out. We exercised our right to vote. Hopefully, it wasn't the last time, and the majority has spoken. Donald Trump is our next president-elect. He won. On November 6th, International Day of "I am deleting you from social media because you don't agree with me" and severe gloating in the faces of those who are grieving, we have gravitated even further apart than this man has yearned for. Then the "X amount of people deleted me today, see ya! ✌🏼" posts soon after. As if an award can be won. It's disheartening. Remember, how did you feel on November 7th, 2020? Cut scene, fast forward to January 6th, 2021. I won't forget that. 

For what it's worth, I believe Donald won by pouring salt into wounds regarding grocery store prices (let's look at large corporations, please). He convinced people their jobs were being stolen due to "wide open borders," and Mexicans raping our women. Legal immigrants were eating their pets. Sex changes on inmates. They care more about minorities than they care about you. You can't get ahead because they don't care about you. Perception is reality. He skewed perception drastically. I understand why you voted for him. It's exasperating an issue. Psychologically speaking, again, our brains are wired to gravitate toward the bad than the good. It's quite genius. 

Men, I understand why you voted for him. Young men, you have been overlooked and failed by the Democratic Party. The party needs to look into this on a much deeper level and needs to repair. They need to gain your trust. I understand why minorities voted for him, too.

Even if false, he perpetuates an ideology of what a man is "supposed to" look like. A true "protector "(despite this being targeted toward women, whether "we like it or not), causes conflict, and seems to perpetuate" power. Even if you understand that the loudest person in the room is usually the weakest and that emotional intelligence is the true mark for successful leadership, this looks good. Other nations will be scared of us. (Or we're easy to take advantage of, or manipulate, either way, join the club; we have bright hats, big flags, and t-shirts that say "Fight!") He will protect you and America from all of this! He will protect your values and not make you accept the "wokeness," which I believe certain values are only yours to accept, AND I believe in equal rights. See how easy that is? (Being "woke" is not a bad thing, but people will make you perceive that it is.) But he will make America Great Again, according the one and only one value system. 

In my opinion, for what it is worth, Donny reminds me of that text book narcissistic ex that won't go away. Even if you block him (or he's fired), he will find a way to contact you and say all the right things, or all the things that seem so "real" that no one else will say, and work his way back into your life. With no valid proof of how he has changed, or he never even says he will change, he doesn't need to because he knows you will open the door and let him dance (foolishly) back in. Break up to make up, over and over again, it's that easy. He truly "sees" you, and no one has ever understood you like he does, surely not Kamala Harris. Who is she anyway? She had four years in the White House and hasn't done anything! (Time to learn how government works if you have ever regurgitated that.) It's a break from the mundane, he's not dull, it's all so unpredictable…. And exciting. On a cellular level, you know he's not good for you; he may even disgust you, but you can't help but want to be around him. There's something about him. You've found yourself alienating yourself from anyone who may see him for who he is, who warned you to stay away and keep your circle smaller to those who approve of him. Who cares if he cannot put together a coherent sentence, insults everyone including his base who votes for him, has the emotional intelligence of a pea, and is a felon. He is just misunderstood.

I understand why people voted for him. Like you, I'm exhausted. He will end the exhaustion, right? Like dating or reconsidering a relationship that is long overdue to expire, these elections are debilitating. When your ex comes back around with that "Hey, how are you text…" or you perpetuate, "it's just easier to stay with them, at least I don't have to get to know someone all over again and it possibly fail" or "I don't have enough money to leave, I need them," or "this will break up the family, then what?" It is easy to say, "At least I know this devil," vs. a new start. How many relationships have you seen that become their cracked foundation? However, emotionally, mentally, and financially, being beaten into submission is precisely where we're intended to be. We proudly smile in the photos, our integrity challenged. 

I truly believe people voted with their heads, not their hearts, looking at the perception of America that was painted. I believe some people closed their eyes, chose Donald, and hoped for the best. I believe most people and true Republicans voted in their best interests, not their neighbors' and fellow citizens, putting certain values and rights way before others. I understand it, even if it's hard for me to understand. It's impossible for me to fault these people; it's also not my place. I believe these are also the folks who are claiming that "the other side" is demonizing them. And/or posting memes like, "Don't let politics divide you." The "problem" is that your once-upon-of-time friends feel hurt that who they are as humans, their protected rights and struggles seemingly mean nothing to you now. Are they demonizing you, or are you feeling demonized, or unconsciously judging yourself? Are your posts hurting others or making it worse? Could that be the "demonizing?" That was rhetorical, by the way. 

To your family and friends, it can feel like your vote was a vote that put their rights at risk, the rights of women, daughters, minority rights, LGBTQIA friends and family, and more times than not, the rights that you benefitted from, whether fertility testing and treatment, access to abortion whether medical after miscarriage or elective, equal rights to marriage and family building (same sex, interfaith, interracial), and more at risk. When that's accompanied by gloating, I feel the pain. When accompanied by the Nick Fuentes' of the world, who shook hands with this man, now saying, "Your body, my choice." I see the division. I am fighting hard to remain the raging moderate I claim to be. 

For what it is worth, even if I didn't, I understand why you may have voted for Donald Trump. Even if you voted against your own interests, which happens more times that I'd like to see, don't worry, I voted for you.

For what it is worth, right now, you feel seen, which is so important. But I want you to take a step back and see your fellow American, someone who is your family and maybe once your friend, right now, too. They are grieving and worried, even if you're not. Empathy is important in any relationship. 

Despite what Trump has already shown us, despite the paradigm, despite the warnings from inside the house, I truly hope that it is all smoke and there's no fire. Here is to all of us and the next four years.